The Next Chapter

Although the title of this blog is "The View From the Top of the Cake", that View is going to have to change for a while and maybe should be retitled to something like, "The View from the Empty Plate the Cake was Sitting On".

After a particularly depressing couple of months sans viable income, I'm finally a worthwhile, taxpaying citizen once again.  And thank you to all of the people who sent uplifting and encouraging e-mails after the demise of my business.  Despite the "fail once, fail again and fail better" mantra that is supposed to drive one on to try harder, it just wasn't doing it for me and I needed some time off for my brain to stop it's beating me up for failing, yes, once again.  I needed a job where I had no responsibilities other than to do what I was told to do.  Not easy, for a number of reasons.

First, I felt the pressure to get a job quickly, just to be able to pay my bills.  Aside from designing really awesome cakes, the only thing I know how to do well is desserts.  However, I had not actually participated in the Prduction part of my company for many years.  To say I'm a bit rusty is an understatement. 

Second, people had a difficult time wrapping their heads around the fact that a former business owner might want to come into their bakery and make danishes, and cinnamon rolls, and muffins at 6am, and did I understand that this would be extremely tiring, physical labor and I would be getting DIRTY?  They had this preconceived notion that, as cake designers, we sit on our asses all day, leisurely painting beautiful curlicues on cakes and dreaming of our next ethereal creation. Please see my entry from June 26 entitled the Mother of All Wedding Weekends to get an idea of what is really involved in our business. 

Third, there was the issue of wages.  I had no expectations in this area.  Pay me what the job is worth to your business.  Don't NOT consider hiring me because you think you could never afford to pay me what you THINK I think I should be making. I cannot afford to be a Prima Donna.  I need a job to live.  Period.

And so it came to pass that I was offered a job as a Pastry Cook at, let's call it Really Major Hotel Chain, to be referred to from here on out as RMHC.  I have never worked for a hotel so the corporate environment is completely foreign to me.  Not negatively, just different.  It is a giant organism made up of layers and layers of cells, each asnswering to a cell above it.  But, it seemed perfect for me.  I could be absorbed into the inner workings of this organism and disappear for a while. 

The week I started happened to be the busiest week this very new hotel had yet had.  An important group of guests was in and needed to be wowed with all aspects of our hotel.  The Culinary Team was called to meetings several times to impress upon us the need for perfection in our work.  Everyone knew they would be working lots of overtime.  I've got a really high energy level and as long as what I'm doing is appreciated and contributes to the success of a project, I'm like the Energizer Bunny.  Well, it was indeed a trial by fire.

The pastry department consists of about 6 people and those people need to be able to produce a large volume of product quickly and efficiently.  They are also constantly being plagued by the inevitable changes to orders and those nasty "pop ups", orders needed, like, now? 

As everybody knows, being a new employee is not pleasant, anywhere.  You don't know where anything is.  Ingredients, equipment, utensils, recipes, other kitchens, elevators- all might as well be on another planet.  It's a freaking nightmare.  And what's worse is, you know that these people need you to know these things and it's frustrating to everyone that you don't.  Not that they don't understand, it's just that you're basically USELESS and they know it's faster to do whatever it is they need to do, themselves.  Six days in a row of 10-14 hour days, the stress of learning an all new environment under extreme pressure, and smarting from the typical kitchen torture by "those in power",  Witholding information, watching while you did something incorrectly and then announcing your stupidity, errands almost guaranteed to fail, scathing sarcasm.  It was enough to give a girl a REALLY BIG HEADACHE, darn it all!   Fortunately, everybody ELSE is super nice and after that week, business returned to a somewhat normal pace. I've been able to actually learn some production methods, acquired my own tools, figured out the various places recipes can be located (of course, they WOULDN'T be anyplace logical like a MAIN BOOK.....), and today, the best thing happened.  They actually gave me chef coats that fit!  No more looking like a little kid wearing my Dad's clothes!  Hey!  It's the little things, you know?

So, this is my new life.  I cannot say that it in any way feeds my soul or fulfills my artistic needs.  But it's a job.  And in these unpredictable times, I feel quite lucky to have it.